Being jokes
I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"
What’s bin Laden got in common with SpongeBob?
Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, and they’re filled with holes.
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.
Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:
Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
If an orphan took a photo, what would it be considered?
Not a family photo.
Who were the people that survived 9/11?
The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they don’t have anybody to call “daddy.”
If you have a bad day, go tell an orphan to find his parents. He will be searching all day.
Why can't an orphan be in a relationship?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?
(insert funny joke about a dick here).
Did you laugh? Be honest.
What's one advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody can make mama jokes about you. 🌚
Emo girls be like, "How much am I worth? I don't know. Scan the code on your wrist."
Putin be like CSGO is much harder in real life!
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
Why is Ronnie Anne like Lincoln? Because he is a softy about everything.
Why should China be a baseball team?
Because they can take out the entire world with just one bat!
I ought to complain to Spotify for you not being named this week’s hottest single.