Being jokes

Bee

    • According to all known laws of aviation,

    there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

    Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

    The bee, of course, flies anyway

    because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

    Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

    Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.

    Barry! Breakfast is ready!

    Coming!

    Hang on a second.

    Hello?

    - Barry? - Adam?

    - Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.

    Looking sharp.

    Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.

    Sorry. I'm excited.

    Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.

    A perfect report card, all B's.

    Very proud.

    Ma! I got a thing going here.

    - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!

    - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!

    Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!

  • 6

    • Woman

    • How do you know if a woman that is poor who is between 18-24 years old is poor enough to do anything for money to help pay her bills? She would be working as a lesbian prostitute inside a lesbian hotel in San Francisco, CA.

  • 1

    • Woman

    • Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.

  • 0
    • Being memes

    Porn

    • Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.

  • 0

    • Criminal

    • For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.

    Incest

    • So Kenny finally found his one true love.

    But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.

  • 0

    • Indian

    • An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.

    It's quite obvious to each of the three men where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you, do you? This is my seat, after all."

    The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistanis and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"

    The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are, and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know it's going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a Coke!"

    The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to where the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistanis spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a Coke.

    Then the other Pakistani says, "You know what brother? I would also like a Coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a Coke.

    Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each other's shoes and peeing in each other's Cokes?"

  • 1

    • Family

    • Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.

    Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?

    Son: Yes, why?

    Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.

  • 2

    • Condom

    • Why can't a citizen in communist China, especially a Chinese male who is between 18-29 years old, buy a box of condoms in a drug store in communist China?

    Because the condom would be too big for the penis of Chinese men in communist China.

  • 2

    • Nut

    • I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.

  • 0