Being jokes

If I grew a nanometer taller for every 2/10 woman expecting a 6’3”+ guy, I would be considered attractive.💀

Blind people driving on the highway would be the world's biggest, and shortest game of bumper cars!

What's one similarity between the twin towers and gender?

There used to be 2, and now it's a sensitive subject.

What's the difference between E.T. and an orphan?

E.T. can phone home.

My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people. You're much worse than that.

What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?

"Will there be seconds?"

Being the first to move in chess.

It’s a white privilege.

That shirt's very becoming on you.

If I were on you, I’d be coming too.

Roses are red, violets are fine, you'll be the 6 and I'll be the 9.

Azibo works 10 hours a day in the sun and is paid 1 euro an hour. Thanks to a fundraiser we will be able to raise the necessary funds to buy a whip to make him work twice as much.

Why can't an orphan be a criminal?

Because they aren't wanted.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?

A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.

Why did the orphan grow up to be a priest?

So he could be called Father Les.

What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?

Still being in the orphanage at 13.

Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!

"Suicide bomber kills 44 people in Pakistan mosque." Damn, that's a crazy K/D. He must be hacking.

I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!

Me be like: ;-;

Joe mama so fat, when she stepped on a scale it said "to be continued."