Being jokes
You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.
Why can’t orphans be married?
Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore – my face should be among them.
Guys, depression cannot be turned into a joke.
Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
Your forehead is so big that it said, "To be continued."
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?
Search up biblically accurate angels.
If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.
"Learn to fly a plane," they said. "It'll be fun," they said...
Can't be bothered with jokes, me and Syd Drake f**k 24/7.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a touchy subject.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
"If all of these structures break we will all die."
And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"
And he said, "It would be breaking news."
Run on a sandpaper floor-treadmill hybrid in a medium sized room for 24 hours. It will be fun!
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!