Behavior jokes
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.
Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.
The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"
Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.
They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!
It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!
Yo mama so stupid that she farted on yo face for no reason.
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
What's the difference between an apple and emos?
They both hang on trees.
If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.
The first thing the emo did at the party is to pin the gun to their head.
I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other one, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Mom told me drugs are my enemies.
Jesus said to like your enemies.
Yay, I can like drugs then!
What do you call a dumb and mean crocodile?
A crookodile.