The emo kid said, "I wanna die." But the quiet kid said, "Nah, I'm gonna die myself, bye!"
If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.
My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.
What a weird way to start a conversation!
Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."
The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"
Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.
The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"
Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
Yo mama so stupid that she farted on yo face for no reason.
I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.
They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!
It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
What's the difference between an apple and emos?
They both hang on trees.
What's fat and wanks over his mom?
Guy Sheppard.
A joker held the door open for me the other day. It was a nice gesture.
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."
Video games don't make people violent, lag does.
The first thing the emo did at the party is to pin the gun to their head.
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.
