Behavior jokes
You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.
Yo dad's so stupid, he came back after he got the milk.
A person could build a playground with your mood swings.
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.
How do you help a starving cannibal?
You give him a hand!
Barney
If you have a teacher who is a Karen, comment what the worst thing that they did to you or your entire class. I know this isn’t a joke, but why not?
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
If you’re bored, go punch an orphan. What are the parents gonna do?
Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.
The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"
Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
Yo mama so stupid that she farted on yo face for no reason.
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
Like if you meet someone emo.
What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
What's the difference between an apple and emos?
They both hang on trees.