Behavior jokes

Yo dad's so stupid, he came back after he got the milk.

A person could build a playground with your mood swings.

How do you help a starving cannibal?

You give him a hand!

If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.

Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.

Why did the turkey cross the road twice?

To prove he wasn't chicken!

Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.

What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?

The windows we watch through.

My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.

Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.

The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"

Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."

Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?

He grew up a Florida Man, after all.

Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?

He was always tardy.

Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”

Kid: “Whatever!”

Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”

Kid: “Doesn't matter!”

Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”

Kid: “Oh well!”

Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”

Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”

I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.

They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!

It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!

Yo mama so stupid that she farted on yo face for no reason.

Bosses are like seagulls.

They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.

Why did the cat meow?

Because it's a cat, and they meow.

What's the difference between an apple and emos?

They both hang on trees.

"You have your entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?"

A joker held the door open for me the other day. It was a nice gesture.