Behavior jokes

Bored? Punch an orphan! Who are they gonna tell, their parents?

I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.

What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?

The windows we watch through.

If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.

Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.

I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"

What would you throw between a priest and a nun? A bottle of whiskey.

My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.

Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.

The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"

Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."

Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?

He grew up a Florida Man, after all.

Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?

He was always tardy.

Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”

Kid: “Whatever!”

Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”

Kid: “Doesn't matter!”

Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”

Kid: “Oh well!”

Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”

Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”

I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.

They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!

It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!

Yo mama so stupid that she farted on yo face for no reason.

Bosses are like seagulls.

They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.

Why did the cat meow?

Because it's a cat, and they meow.

What's the difference between an apple and emos?

They both hang on trees.

I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.

Two cannibals are eating a clown.

One says to the other one, "Does this taste funny to you?"

The first thing the emo did at the party is to pin the gun to their head.