Behavior jokes
How do you help a starving cannibal?
You give him a hand!
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
What would you throw between a priest and a nun? A bottle of whiskey.
Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.
If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.
The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"
Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
Yo mama so stupid that she farted on yo face for no reason.
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
Like if you meet someone emo.
What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
What's the difference between an apple and emos?
They both hang on trees.
Bullying orphans is like bullying the homeless kid; both cry when you make fun of their parents.
I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.