Behavior jokes
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
The first thing the emo did at the party is to pin the gun to their head.
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other one, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Mom told me drugs are my enemies.
Jesus said to like your enemies.
Yay, I can like drugs then!
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."
What do you call a dumb and mean crocodile?
A crookodile.
Why are gay guys so rude?
Because they’re fucking assholes.
Are you sure your father isn't a thief?
Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.
What's fat and wanks over his mom?
Guy Sheppard.
A joker held the door open for me the other day. It was a nice gesture.
Video games don't make people violent, lag does.
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
I asked my daddy what sex was. He said, "Wanna cum and try it?"
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids, so I came and helped.
He won’t stand against the three of us!
Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?
I mean, the one I fucked died.
I was up all night because my neighbors were having sex.
*I was actually up all night watching.*
I wrote a passage to stop about bullying, and it was easy. Do you know why?
Because I am a bully!
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.