Behavior jokes
I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.
They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!
It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!
Women are like dogs...
"Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?"
"Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?"
"I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here..."
SHOES
what do sloths and depressed people have in common? ... they both hang from trees.
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
Bored?
Burn an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
Why are french fries rude?
Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.
What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.
What would you throw between a priest and a nun? A bottle of whiskey.
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.
Best not leave hungry kids unattended!
Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.
He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.
The emo kid said, "I wanna die." But the quiet kid said, "Nah, I'm gonna die myself, bye!"
If you’re bored, go punch an orphan. What are the parents gonna do?
Yo dad's so stupid, he came back after he got the milk.