Beat jokes
Why did England beat Germany in World War Two?
Scissors beat paper.
Dear Hearing People,
We, deaf people, ain’t dead. We can use our hands to talk, eat & fist your face to give you some 💡 awareness that we can understand you 💯 meanwhile we laugh at you 🤡 We can even dance via vibration through music.
Do you know the song w lyric like this 👇 *white b.... accent: Ohhh.. MY God BECKY.. L👀k at her butt. IT is SO BIG. *BIG BEAT DROP* I...LIKE...BIG...BUTT...I cannot LIE 👻 I promise we ain’t ghosting around - Brittany Rose.
Your grandmother died because she fell on the highest floor of the hotel. Your grandfather died because he got shot while saving your mother. If he didn't save your mother, you wouldn't be here.
You grew up in a world full of viruses. You wanted the virus to be gone. There's only one way, but you have to know it. I can't tell it for you.
Your mother got Covid-19. You prayed and prayed all night, hoping that she would be okay. The next day, the doctors went to your house without your mother. You asked, "Where is my mother?!" The doctors said, "Your mother is gone, so we came here to tell you." The doctors left. Another hour, you were thinking while crying, "Why was my prayer not working? Lord, why'd you let me down?"
You searched on Google "How to bring back the dead." The Google workers declined it. Your father left you because he loved another girl. Your brothers are still with you, but what if they get the virus? Who will be with you?
Don't forget Jesus is still there for you. Don't give up, keep going, and you will succeed soon. You will find your own family and beat the coronavirus.
My dad always used to beat me, but he never beat cancer.
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
Welcome to the abortion clinic. You make 'em, we scrape 'em. No fetus can beat us.
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.
If you're ever bored, just beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
If your kid beats up an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?
Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.
I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.
Whenever I’m bored, I hit up my local orphanage and beat some of them up.
I mean honestly, what are they going to do, tell their parents? 😂😂
What made his beats so bad?
His name.
Why do the cheetahs always beat you? Because they beet-ah.
My friend told me she had a good joke and it beat all mine. I said, "Haha, that is funny!"
Why does the heart listen to music a lot?
Because it loves feeling the beat.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
Skedaddle skedoodle, I'm gonna go beat my noodle.
There's nothing else that can beat up dog.
What's up, dog?
Just my depression!