How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
Toto is at school and asks if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no.
Then, she asks Toto, “Where is the biggest river in the world?”
“Under my bench,” he replies.
"I wasn't that drunk yesterday."
"Oh boy, you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying."
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? "You look a bit flushed."
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.
It's embarrassing when there is no toilet paper and you need to go and get one with your pants down. Luckily, the supermarket is just around the corner.
Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.
What does a killer say in the shower in the morning?
- Splish splash, I'm gonna slash...
So a woman was paranoid, so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed, and if the dog licked her hand, then she was safe. One night, just before bed, she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick, so she went to bed. In the middle of the night, she needed to go to the bathroom. So, she walked into the bathroom, and on the window, it said: "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO!" Then she was murdered.
How can toilet paper decorate your house?
Shit sticks everywhere.
What kind of bath bomb does an emo person use?
A toaster.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom.
A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.
"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.
"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."
The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"
She said, "Not everybody paid."
What do you call a letter using the bathroom?
The P.
