Bathroom jokes
Toilet paper cried across the road.
You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.
My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.
All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.
Why did Helen Keller walk in on someone in the bathroom?
Because she didn’t know it was the bathroom.
What bathroom does a trumpet go to?
The brass room...
Why can't toilet paper cross the road? Because the toilet paper got stuck in a crack. 🤣🤣🤣
Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" and he came running in. "Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to the floor!" she said.
"S’truth, Sheila!" Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You’re stuck fast girl. I’ll go across the road and get me mate Cobber."
They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. "No way, we can’t do it!" Cobber said, "So let’s try Plan B."
"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "What’s that?"
"I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tiles under her," replied Cobber.
"Spot on!" Bruce said, "While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her nipples."
"Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate!"
"No... " Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper."
What kind of bath bomb does an emo person use?
A toaster.
Where are the ping pong balls? Check the bathroom stalls.
Did you know toilets, while you're at work, eat your toilet paper?
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.
Bro, you were born in a local 7-Eleven bathroom.
What kind of fruit can fix your toilet?
A plum-mer.
I'm going to piss on the floor.
Read if gay.
Aha!
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
"OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."
What do you get when you cross a priest with a toilet?
Holy shit.
Yo momma's so fat, it takes her 1,000,000 hours on the toilet.