Bathroom

Bathroom jokes

School

A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,

"It's an elevator, not a lift!"

and

"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"

He keeps going on until the Englishman says,

"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."

Shit

Roses are red, I need a broom, I just shit all over the bathroom.

Memes

Knock knock

Me: Knock knock.

My sister: Who's there?

Me: I eat mop.

My sister: I eat mop who?

My mind: I eat my poo.

My sister getting it.

Diarrhea

There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.

Shit

When I shit in the toilet, I think that if I shit hard enough, I can see my asshole plug.

Toilet

What did the kid say to the toilet?

"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"

Priest

What happened to the eight-year-old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church?

The priest stopped him on the way there.

Finland

When you're Russian to the bathroom, and when you're finished you're from Finland, what are you when you are IN the bathroom?

European.

Shower

Little Jimmy was in the shower singing "Dame Tu Cosita," and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy's mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit in the shower, and Jimmy yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP!"

Hat

Little Jonny Bad Ass was sitting on a porch one day, and a preacher was in the house. Little Jonny Bad Ass had to use the bathroom, so he bangs on the door saying, "Mom, I have to use the bathroom!" His mom says wait. So Little Jonny Bad Ass saw a hat on the step. He looks around, pulls his pants down, and shits in the hat.

A few later, the preacher comes out and says, "I see you have my hat!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Yeah, I caught the world's fastest bird!" The preacher says, "Well, let me see him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "No, I don't know." Well, the preacher says, "I'll put my hands by the hat, you lift, and I'll catch him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass lifted the hat and the preacher clapped his hands, and Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Now see the bird don't shit," and ran.

Ass

You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.

Poop

Why did the poop cross the street? Because it was trying to get in the toilet.

Character

This is a joke about Ms. Ploopatoink, a made-up character who is a pink fluffy pony who loves toilet paper.

Why is Ms. Ploopatoink like a toilet plunger?

They both jump in the toilet!

  • 2
  • Poo

    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    Ididap.

    Ididap who?

    That's the joke, you did a poo!