Bathroom jokes

The toilet paper tried to cross the road. He couldn't because he was stuck in a crack.

I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.

What's white, sticky, and better to spit out then to swallow?

Toothpaste.

Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.

What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?

It got pissed off.

When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks. 😂

I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.

A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?" The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off."

My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.

The toaster;

otherwise known as, the ultimate bath bomb.

What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."

My wife wanted a present that could go from zero to 80 very quickly.

So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.

A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.

"Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.

"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"

"Good, but where's the p?"

"Running down my leg."

That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.

How can you surprise someone who is blind?

Leave a plunger in the toilet.

So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil.

So I was at home, and I went to take a shower, and I accidentally walked in on my brother having sex with some girl. So I left. A couple minutes later, I needed my headphones to listen to music, so I asked my mom where she was. She told me she was in the shower. Our house only has one bathroom. Sweet home Alabama.

It's better to cum in the sink than to sink in the cum.

Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

Because it was stuck in a crack.