Bathroom

Bathroom Jokes

Pikachu

Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.

People

I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"

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  • Bathroom scale

    - Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.

    - Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.

    - Oh...that might actually be even easier.

    Poop

    So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

    Quarantine

    Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend, Sally.

    They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back, Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said, "You need to be quarantined again."

    "No," Sally said, "I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups, especially women, like." Then the teacher faints.

    Dick

    Susie was in her mother's room one night, as her mother was getting ready for bed. She had slipped off her blouse; her boobs, plum and perky. Susie had asked what are those and will I get them? Her mother had said they were boobs and she would grow some in a few years. Her mother told Susie to find her father and say goodnight.

    So Susie left, headed down the hall to the bathroom where her father was showering. Susie knocked on the door, he said come in. He had moved the shower curtain over just a bit. Susie said she loved him, and then seen her father's dick. Shocked, Susie asked her father what that was and if she would get one. Her father said it was a dick, and he said Susie would get it after her mother went to bed.

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  • American

    If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

    European.

    Orphan

    An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."

    Clock

    What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?

    WATCH OUT!!!