PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
How do you punish a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Me- *crying in the shower*
Also me- *why is my toaster in here?*
Where does the Batman go to pee?
The Batroom.
Susie was in her mother's room one night, as her mother was getting ready for bed. She had slipped off her blouse; her boobs, plum and perky. Susie had asked what are those and will I get them? Her mother had said they were boobs and she would grow some in a few years. Her mother told Susie to find her father and say goodnight.
So Susie left, headed down the hall to the bathroom where her father was showering. Susie knocked on the door, he said come in. He had moved the shower curtain over just a bit. Susie said she loved him, and then seen her father's dick. Shocked, Susie asked her father what that was and if she would get one. Her father said it was a dick, and he said Susie would get it after her mother went to bed.
Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.
Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend, Sally.
They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back, Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said, "You need to be quarantined again."
"No," Sally said, "I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups, especially women, like." Then the teacher faints.
An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."
Draco Malfoy had a wand fight in the bathroom.
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
What did one toilet say to the other?
You look pretty flushed.
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
A bath bomb.
I have a little John.
What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?
WATCH OUT!!!
