Bathroom jokes
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
How do you punish a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"
Me- *crying in the shower*
Also me- *why is my toaster in here?*
So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Where does the Batman go to pee?
The Batroom.
Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.
Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend, Sally.
They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back, Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said, "You need to be quarantined again."
"No," Sally said, "I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups, especially women, like." Then the teacher faints.
Susie was in her mother's room one night, as her mother was getting ready for bed. She had slipped off her blouse; her boobs, plum and perky. Susie had asked what are those and will I get them? Her mother had said they were boobs and she would grow some in a few years. Her mother told Susie to find her father and say goodnight.
So Susie left, headed down the hall to the bathroom where her father was showering. Susie knocked on the door, he said come in. He had moved the shower curtain over just a bit. Susie said she loved him, and then seen her father's dick. Shocked, Susie asked her father what that was and if she would get one. Her father said it was a dick, and he said Susie would get it after her mother went to bed.
Roses are red, violets are blue, get the f*ck out, I’m trying to poo!
Draco Malfoy had a wand fight in the bathroom.
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
A bath bomb.
What did one toilet say to the other?
You look pretty flushed.
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
I have a little John.
An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."
"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.