Basement jokes

I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"

He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"

How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.

If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.

Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.

Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!

One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.

To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.

For Charlie D'Amelio fans, my basement is your home now. Leave a like if you agree with me.

Explain bear still lives in his mother's basement.

If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.

So I could put kids inside you.

You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?

A lot of things.

What’s the difference between orphans and cars?

I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.

What's the difference between my basement and my garage?

One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don’t worry, he woke up.

In my basement.

I like my wine like my women:

16 and in my basement.

Dear Orphans,

I have a better orphanage for you. It's my basement :)

"I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."

"I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."

Said no horror movie character ever.

And also GTA logic.

What is black and blue and really hates sex?

The six-year-old in my basement.

What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?

Christmas!

What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?

I don't have a sex slave in my basement...

Stupid.