Basement jokes

What’s the difference between kids and drugs?

I don’t hide drugs in my basement.

I like my women like I like my wine. Twelve years old and tied up in my basement.

Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!

Officer: You OK, kid?

Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.

Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*

When officer leaves:

Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?

Dear Orphans,

I have a better orphanage for you. It's my basement :)

Two kids walked into a bar. They were covered with blood. The bartender asked what happened.

The youngest said, "Well, we were trying to paint our basement, but we threw the babies too hard!"

What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?

Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.

What do you call a basement full of SJW's?

A whine cellar.

One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.

To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.

I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.

For Charlie D'Amelio fans, my basement is your home now. Leave a like if you agree with me.

Bubba couldn't make rent, so he offered to sleep with the landlady instead.

I think he forgot he lived in his mom's basement.

After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.

It's in my basement.

Kenny's favorite part of living in his mom's basement is sleeping with the landlady.

Jake grabbed Lina's thigh and said, "Why don't we have sex? I really wanna see your boobs. I bet they're hot." "Yeah, they are." She took her clothes off and he saw her body. "OMG GODDESS OF BOOBS, PUSSYS AND BUTT LETS HAVE SEX LOOK AT MY..." HE WOKE UP THEN CRIED AND KISSED HIS SISTER'S BUTT. SHE SMACKED HIM THEN HE TOOK HER TO HIS BASEMENT AND KILLED HER FROM SEX.

I like my wine like my women:

16 and in my basement.

Become an anti-furry for free KFC and dead orphans in your basement.

You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?

A lot of things.

Stupid.

What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.

Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.