Basement jokes

What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?

My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.

I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.

My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.

What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.

My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.

What do you call your mom?

Basement bound.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don’t worry, he woke up.

In my basement.

I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.

What's the same about boxes and children?

They're both found in basements.

1 like = 1 more child in my basement.

I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.

Why are basements so scary? Cuz of the mail.

If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.

Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.

Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.

I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"

He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"

I like my orphans how I like my wine, locked in my basement for ten.

How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

More than three because the basement is still dark!