Basement jokes

What’s the difference between jail and my basement?

Some people are let out of jail.

I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"

He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"

What do you call a basement full of SJW's?

A whine cellar.

What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.

Kenny's favorite part of living in his mom's basement is sleeping with the landlady.

What’s the difference between orphans and cars?

I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don’t worry, he woke up.

In my basement.

If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.

Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.

I like my women like I like my wine. Twelve years old and tied up in my basement.

What do you call your mom?

Basement bound.

How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.

Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!

How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

More than 10, since my basement's still dark.

What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?

Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.

There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did, and the ended up liking each other and getting married and living happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy actually snuck in Rayne's house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.

I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣