Baby jokes
Two baby seals walk into a club.
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
Noticing how wet and gentle the baby's mouth was on the bottle tip, this gave Uncle Willie an idea.
What do you call a baby in a blender? A baby blender!
Q: How do you get 10 babies in a trashcan?
A: With a blender.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Chips.
Why are baby elephants so smart? They hang out with friends!
Did you know hospitals have an entire wing for free dead babies? It’s called the abortion center.
Hello, welcome to Joe’s Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I help you today?
What bumps up and down at 100km an hour?
A baby tied to the back of a speeding truck.
Yo mama so hairy, when the baby came out, the baby died because of carpet burning!
What is the difference between a refrigerator and a baby?
The refrigerator doesn't cry when I put my meat in it.
What does a baby banana call her mum? Na na, get it? Instead of ma ma.
Everything is made in China, except babies... They are made in Vachina.
What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?
Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.
Arby's fast food and abortion clinic: Your dead babies are our taters and gravy.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
Teenager: "OMG, I’m prego, my mom's gonna kill me."
Baby: "Lmao, same"
What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise.
What's worse than finding 10 babies in 10 dumpsters?
Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters.