Baby jokes
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
Yo mama so fat, COW!
So you see all these Baby Yoda memes when you go online, But you have never really seen the show with him.
He is just SOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins. The doctor said but the lady was like,
"Ugh, why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl, not a boy, just a girl!"
The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma. The man who was in labor died. The two babies got a nanny, an evil one. The nanny killed the babies on their first birthday.
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!
I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"
Bored? Punch an orphan! Who are they gonna tell, their parents?
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.
FEW!!!!!!!
What is the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
About 140 calories.
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
What's meaner than taking candy from a baby?
Throwing the baby off a cliff.
Abortion is wrong because God wanted the baby to be alive.
Miscarriages are okay because God did not want the baby to be alive.
My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.
Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?
A: A clothes hanger.
Yo momma so old, she was at Cain and Abel's baby shower.
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
When you pull out, but the baby's face turns blue.