I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.
Let's try to get to either max likes or dislikes, your choice.
And duck jokes, who would win in a fight, a baby or a pacifist, presented by duck?
Why can't women just shut the fuck up! I hate women. They need to know their place and stay in the kitchen and be baby makers...
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
Michael Jackson's hand.
Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. He got invited to dinner with his neighbor. Little Johnny's dad said if he mentioned "ears" he will get a spank.
So Johnny looked in the bassinet. They were talking about the new baby. Johnny's mum said, "What beautiful eyes."
"That is great," said little Johnny, "because he will be stuffed if he needed glasses."
I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort
Somebody’s son said mom my dick has white stuff coming out of it, she said oh good one son so when’s the baby coming
Q: How do you make a fire? A: Oil and dead babies
whats the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a ferrari? i dont own a ferrari.
How do you put a baby alien to sleep?
You rocket. 🚀🚀🚀
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
while fucking a hot auntie pressing tightly her boobs and fondling He: What do you feed your babies ? She: Milk and Orange juice He: Wow, which side is orange juice ? 😋
What's meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.
what's black and red/read all over? a baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
I have two things i wanna say: 1. when ppl swear stop taking it so fucking literally. if someone calls u a bitch, they're not calling u a female dog. if they call u a cunt, they're not calling u a woman's private part, they r calling u either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby or something along those lines. ffs 2. wtf
What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you I thought to my self of the last time I was a baby
Yo mama so non verbal that she’s Boss Baby
