Baby Jokes

Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?

In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢

How many babys does it take to screw in a lightbulb more than 40 because my basement is still dark.

What is worse: 10 babies stapled to 1 tree, or 1 baby stapled to ten trees?

What is blue and sits in a corner? A baby in a baggy.

What do Indian hip hop artists eat?

Rice rice baby.

Babys Horenet's first word

The image is a three-panel comic. In the first panel, a white character with a pointy head is holding a saw and says, "look Hornet, this is a saw. can you say saw?". The second panel shows a similar, smaller character, with a question mark above its head. The third panel shows the same character shouting "SHAW!!"

How do you make a baby cry?

You punch it in the face.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.

What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!

What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!

Read more: 100 of the funniest ever jokes and best one-liners

What does a baby computer call his father? Data!

What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!

Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!

Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.

What yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of dead babies.

Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?

Because dead babies make the best chum! :)

What's better than a pile of dead babies?

One that's alive in the middle that has to eat its way out.

Baby Shark be like, "It's the END," bruh, they dead.

What's the difference between a baby and a ball?

If you inflate the ball, it won't explode.

After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first doctor”.

The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair”.

Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news”. The doctor replies, “He’s dead”.

What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..

There is none.

abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old

what has 4legs, than 3 legs, than 2 legs, than 1 leg, than no legs

a baby you cut one off each time

How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.