Baby jokes

What does Kylie Jenner feed her baby? Plastic MILK! LOL

Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.

Aaron: Why?

Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.

What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?

Several hundred calories.

Have you ever seen a baby unicorn? No! Because unicorns are gay rainbows in equine form.

Mom: Please eat, baby!

Baby: No!

Mom: Here comes the airplane!

I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.

How do Taliban parents feed their babies?

"Here comes the plane... weeee, BOOM! 💥"

So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.

Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?

A: To find his dad.

This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣

I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.

So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.

Moto Moto, stop giving the baby your d*ck!

What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?

A baby with forks in its eyes.

You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.

Why can’t the baby cross the road?

Walls.

I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.

Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”

Repost

Mom: It's time for sleep.

Baby: Is that what you think, huh?

Mom: *gives baby pacifier*

Baby: Nice try, hobo.

Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.

*few hours later*

Baby: *still awake*

Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!

Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.

"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"

I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.

I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.