So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
Baby Jokes
Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?
A: To find his dad.
This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
Moto Moto, stop giving the baby your d*ck!
What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
Why can’t the baby cross the road?
Walls.
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
Repost
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.
Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
