Baby jokes
What does Kylie Jenner feed her baby? Plastic MILK! LOL
If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?
Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.
Aaron: Why?
Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.
Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?
Several hundred calories.
Memes
Have you ever seen a baby unicorn? No! Because unicorns are gay rainbows in equine form.
Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?
A: Cum on your cousin's face.
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
How do Taliban parents feed their babies?
"Here comes the plane... weeee, BOOM! 💥"
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
Why can’t the baby cross the road?
Walls.
What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
Moto Moto, stop giving the baby your d*ck!
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.
They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...