Baby jokes
What's even funnier than throwing a baby off a building?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
What is red, white, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
What's worse than 10 babies in a truck?
One baby in 10 trucks.
Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?
It was having a mid-life crisis.
What's the difference between my basement and my garage?
One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.
A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?
- A boner.
What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?
Several hundred calories.
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
What does Kylie Jenner feed her baby? Plastic MILK! LOL
Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.
Aaron: Why?
Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.
If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
Have you ever seen a baby unicorn? No! Because unicorns are gay rainbows in equine form.
What do you call gun ammunition made out of human babies?
Project-childs.
(Projectiles)
Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?
A: Cum on your cousin's face.
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.