Baby jokes
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?
Several hundred calories.
Memes
swim like a boss
Have you ever seen a baby unicorn? No! Because unicorns are gay rainbows in equine form.
Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.
They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...
What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
Moto Moto, stop giving the baby your d*ck!
Why can’t the baby cross the road?
Walls.
Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?
A: To find his dad.
This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
Repost
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."