Baby jokes

What's the difference between my basement and my garage?

One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.

Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?

It was having a mid-life crisis.

What's worse than 10 babies in a truck?

One baby in 10 trucks.

A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?

- A boner.

If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?

Man says, "What's Ligma?"

Woman says, "Ligma balls!"

Baby says nothing, she transgender.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

What does Kylie Jenner feed her baby? Plastic MILK! LOL

What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?

With a pitchfork.

Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.

Aaron: Why?

Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.

Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.

What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?

Several hundred calories.

How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.

Have you ever seen a baby unicorn? No! Because unicorns are gay rainbows in equine form.

Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.

They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...

Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?

A: To find his dad.

This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣

I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.

So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.

What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?

A baby with forks in its eyes.

You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.

Moto Moto, stop giving the baby your d*ck!