Baby jokes
What day is Labor Day?
It's the day mommies have their babies.
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
Take your foot off its head.
My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
I walked up to a cat and started to sing a song. The cat said, "HECK NO!" then ran off. I follow it while still singing "BABY COME HOME TO ME!!"
Now from the top, make it drop, that's a WAP, that's a WAP.
I heard China aborts 25% of female babies. That's a lot of dead 3-year-old gender-affirmed girls.
What do you call a lion as a baby?
Cocota
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
I went to a butcher house with my little cousin and saw a baby pig and told her, "Look, it's Pepa Pig!"
She started crying.
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?
A: A tater tot.
How do Asian parents name their baby?
They drop a pot down a flight of stairs.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 10, since my basement's still dark.
Baby Shark be like, "It's the END," bruh, they dead.
Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"
Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?
Because dead babies make the best chum! :)
So, this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well, the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road, he starts speeding. Eventually, he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, "Is my wife okay? She was carrying my child." The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes, "APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage."
What's worse than 5 babies tied to 5 trees?
1 baby tied to 5 trees.