Baby jokes
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby? The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
"I'm a little piss baby!" -Dream
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn?
What's a baby orphan's favorite joke?
"When am I gonna see my parents?"
Lmao.
Why can't women just shut the fuck up! I hate women. They need to know their place and stay in the kitchen and be baby makers...
My sister's pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad!
Chase cheated on Charlie with Addison Rae.
How do you paint a wall red?
You shoot a baby with a .50 cal.
What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?
The nun gets pregNUNt.
A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."
Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!
Why did you say hi? Babies don't talk.
"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."
A woman's husband has a yearly conference. The first night he's away from home, their teenage son Tommy comes into their room at night and starts to make love to her, but she knows that it can be dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, so she doesn't say anything. He does this every night for two weeks and stops when his father comes home.
She realizes she's pregnant and has a baby boy.
The next year the same thing happens, she gets pregnant again, and has a baby girl.
The third year, she's feeling very guilty, and after thirteen nights of incredible passionate lovemaking she sits Tommy down and tells him, "Every time your father leaves town on business, you sleepwalk into my bedroom and make love to me. Bobby and Anna aren't just your brother and sister, you're their father!"
Tommy said "You think I was sleepwalking?"
A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging, “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says, “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
Lucas is a baby, a little girl, ooo!
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?
1 baby in 10 buckets.