yo mama so fat that will smith could slap her from a mile away
My crushes best friend came up to me and called me my crushes dog 🐕 so then I say wow your an ass for calling me a bich he then looks at me wide eyed and I just walk away.
High school crush: why do you always look so sad? Me: my mom is dead and my favorite grandma and my uncle killed both of them and now he's in jail. High school crush: shit. Sorry about that. Me: and my crush hasent asked me out. High school crush: who is it Me: you Him: goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back) Me: fuck that
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy’s clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started...”. The mother cuts him off and says “just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting “I’m leaving you... Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer.”
random person we are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe. hitla thats exactly what i said
have a child u don’t want just drop them off at a school they don’t know and drive away
Yo mama so gay she almost past away
Why are Cheetahs bad at running away. They always get spotted
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! please help, please help!"
can i throw you away you look like my trash can oh wait you are my trash can
A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said i have what you dont he said (parents)and the kid said your right i do have parents and walked away
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?
I think they just hacked the chrime
Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?
You’d run away too if your name was afjlkawihrs gdfn wjasidphbfvnas icxhuvbjsdlk m.nd;fuoxcghkfjckoSZ: lF,.XMAVUDOXICUGJNWLFXCMV CKLSAXHV IJADHXC;IVKSA.
whats the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them Option 2: walk away Option 3: kill eachother. Me: why can't i just kms and leave them the pain?
I was at a farm in France called ‘Uber eats Farmer league’, then I saw a strange creature called ‘Pessi’. He only appears against farmers. He ran towards to me, I didn’t know what I should do so I decided to shout “Big games! Big games!“ Pessi scurried away
My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.
I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk and he was in baggy clothes and I said are you a orphan he said yeah and the orphan said what gave me away I said ur parents
If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.
They believe they are equal to men right? So they are able to fight back right? Then prove it! My EQUALITEHHHHHHHH
you are like a thunderstorm when you go away like your dad everyone is happy.
Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.
