Automotive jokes
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.
I had a dream I was a muffler last night...
I woke up EXHAUSTED! 馃槀馃槂
The Stigg and his fake ass life.
What do pedophiles do when they wake up?
Turn on the child safety lock on the car.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in the garage.
What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!
What's the difference between a sports car and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a sports car in my garage.
"Racecar" spelled backwards is "racecar," but "racecar" sideways is how Paul Walker died.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
A guy crashed his Ford SUV. He couldn't escape.
Luckily, his funeral was a closed casket, sorry, his car blew a gasket.
The Stigg
What鈥檚 the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?
One's a good year and one's a great year.
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
What do you call a man who loves Adidas and Puma and drives a Volkswagen? Potential Nazi.
My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I鈥檓 going to have sex, it鈥檚 going to be on my own Accord.
I see what you did there.
What do you call a garage that is gay?
A gyarge.
What has tree roots and what do I have for kids? What is the difference between a human and a used tire?
Tree roots are under the tree, and used tires are under the Hummer.