Automotive jokes
I see what you did there.
What do you call a man who loves Adidas and Puma and drives a Volkswagen? Potential Nazi.
A guy crashed his Ford SUV. He couldn't escape.
Q: What does a special ed student do when he wants to buy his first car?
A: Makes a Down payment.
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
I had a dream I was a muffler last night...
I woke up EXHAUSTED! 😂😃
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
What do pedophiles do when they wake up?
Turn on the child safety lock on the car.
Did you hear that Alicia wrecked her Lexus?
It's really a shame. She had to give her dad 3 months worth of blowjobs before he'd pay for it.
What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?
Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.
Every male is expected to pass their driver's test. Paul Walker clearly failed his.
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?
The anti-abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
My friend walked down the street and peed on a car.
The Stigg and his fake ass life.