Automotive jokes
You could say ancient Egyptians and JDM car fans are alike--they both worship Datsun.
What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?
One's a good year and one's a great year.
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of car on fire? Hot wheels.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
The Stigg and his fake ass life.
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
What do you call a garage that is gay?
A gyarge.
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
Luckily, his funeral was a closed casket, sorry, his car blew a gasket.
What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?
If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.
What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?
Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.
Seat belts are like the condom for cars.
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!
I see what you did there.
My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.