Autistic jokes

It's weird being an autistic eugenicist.

On one hand I want pussy and on the other hand I don't wanna pollute the white race with my genetic filth.

When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!

What is the autistic woman’s favorite Dorito flavor?

Neurospicy.

If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped.

My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.

That autistic kid having sex for the first time:

"U The Hips, U The Hips!"

Autists either believe everything you tell them or are nonstop skeptics. There is no in-between.

When the school shooter starts doing Fortnite dances and the autistic kid joins in.

What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?

The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.

Why didn’t the autistic boy like Minecraft?

There was a new texture pack.

I was 11 or 12 at the time.

Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...

If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, paraplegic, autistic baby get for Christmas? AIDs.

I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "Autistic Child Zone." Then I thought to myself, "Oh shit, that wasn't a dog!"

What do you call an autistic kid that’s good at art?

Artistic.

What do you say to a magician with autism?

Are you "Autism-ic?"

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.