Autistic jokes
That autistic kid having sex for the first time:
"U The Hips, U The Hips!"
My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.
What do autistic kids and birds have in common?
They both flap their arms.
Bro, imagine shooting a school for autistic people.
What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?
A disorder.
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
What did the deaf, dumb, blind, paraplegic, autistic baby get for Christmas? AIDs.
What do autistics, women, and chinks have in common? They can't fuckin' drive.
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.
If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped.
Autistic jokes have been very popular recently. In other words, I've been very popular recently.
What do birds and autistic people have in common?
They both flap their arms.
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
If Fascism got popularized by autistics, the trains would have run on time.
"Fortnite balls, I'm gay. I like boys. I kidnap autistic kids. Lil Mosey is white."
What do you call an autistic kid that’s good at art?
Artistic.
What do you call an autistic My Little Pony?
Twilight Special.
Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.