Autistic jokes
Why are drums and autistic people the same?
They both go "uh uh uh uh uh uh!"
When you ask the cashiers for the specials menu, and they bring out the autistic kid, blind kid, and Down syndrome kid.
What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.
An autistic kid.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: “ASPERGER’S”
Just came up with a smart new way to make jokes. Try to figure it out without context
When the school shooter asks the autistic kid which hostage he wants to rape, and he looks at you like 😋.
When the school shooter starts doing Fortnite dances and the autistic kid joins in.
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
What instrument does a special ed kid play? An autistic guitar.
What did the deaf, dumb, blind, paraplegic, autistic baby get for Christmas? AIDs.
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
What's an autistic kid's favorite transformer?
Autistemist Prime.
Autists either believe everything you tell them or are nonstop skeptics. There is no in-between.
I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "Autistic Child Zone." Then I thought to myself, "Oh shit, that wasn't a dog!"
What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
What do you call an Autistic kid?
A work of Daniel.