Autistic jokes
My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
Why do ableist people hate autistics?
They're scared they'll never be special enough.
What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?
"I thought what we had was special!"
Astrophysics fact: If you count every star on a Saturday night, you're autistic.
The best part about having autism is being able to make jokes about genociding autistic people and no one can say a damn thing.
If you're feeling mad, punch an autistic kid. What's he gonna do, blabber to the teacher?
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
When the school shooter gives the autistic kid a glock and he shoots himself, thinking it’s a cigarette.
What do you call an Autistic kid?
A work of Daniel.
That autistic kid having sex for the first time:
"U The Hips, U The Hips!"
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
What do you call an army of autistic people?
Special forces!
How do you kill a spider?
Just get an autistic person.
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
What do you call a hung autist...
Dead.
What do autistic retards and birds have in common?
They both flap their arms, lol.
It's weird being an autistic eugenicist.
On one hand I want pussy and on the other hand I don't wanna pollute the white race with my genetic filth.
When the school shooter makes the emo kid hang himself and the autistic kid thinks it's a piñata: 🤪🏏