Autistic jokes
What do you call autistic people with guns? Special forces.
Autists either believe everything you tell them or are nonstop skeptics. There is no in-between.
If Fascism got popularized by autistics, the trains would have run on time.
What do you call an army of autistic people?
Special forces!
When you ask the cashiers for the specials menu, and they bring out the autistic kid, blind kid, and Down syndrome kid.
How do you torture an autistic dude? Start a staring contest.
What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.
What do autistic retards and birds have in common?
They both flap their arms, lol.
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
Why do ableist people hate autistics?
They're scared they'll never be special enough.
What is the autistic woman’s favorite Dorito flavor?
Neurospicy.
What did the autistic man order at McDonald’s?
Ass Burgers.
What Minecraft mob do autistic people relate to the most?
The Enderman.
Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?
They’re jealous that autism can speak.
(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).
Why didn’t the autistic boy like Minecraft?
There was a new texture pack.
Why did the autistic ice cream run away from the party?
She had a meltdown.
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
I hate autistic people.