Autistic jokes
As an Autist, I find these jokes really funny. Thanks for the early 13th birthday present, ya'll :>
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.
His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.
Karens yell, I scream, my mum fucks me.
Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.
When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
What do you call a horde of Autistic kids?
A zombie Apocalypse!
Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh🧟
When the school shooter gives the autistic kid a glock and he shoots himself, thinking it’s a cigarette.
What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?
"I thought what we had was special!"
What do you call an autistic kid with a rocket ship? A cocker.
When the school shooter runs out of ammo: K a l m.
When he grabs a full mag: P a n i k.
When he looks back and doesn't see you, but you're hiding in one of the classrooms: K a l m.
When the autistic kid's Sketchers light up: P A N I K.
When the school shooter kills five people, and the autistic kid yells, "Heroes never die!"
Everyone is autistic midgets.
I’m autistic, and I don’t approve of you guys making fun of the 75,000,000 other people.
An autistic man walks into a bra.
Astrophysics fact: If you count every star on a Saturday night, you're autistic.
You're walking into a bar and you see 2 younger kids around 18. You call the manager to have them removed, but no one came down.
Later that night, you see the 2 18-year-olds, 1 was a girl and the other was a boy, so you call the manager down. No one came again. You confront them and tell them to leave, but one turns around and hits you. You are knocked out on the floor. When you wake up, there is a hard feeling in your a**. You turn your head around and there is an autistic girl with a strap-on in your a** going full on hard.
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
What did the Autistic kid say to his bully?
ARRRRRRRRR!