Autistic jokes
What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?
A disorder.
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
Autistic jokes have been very popular recently. In other words, I've been very popular recently.
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.
When you ask the cashiers for the specials menu, and they bring out the autistic kid, blind kid, and Down syndrome kid.
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
What do you call an autistic black man with a rifle?
Black ops.
Why did the autistic ice cream run away from the party?
She had a meltdown.
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
When the school shooter asks the autistic kid which hostage he wants to rape, and he looks at you like 😋.
What do you call an autistic kid that’s good at art?
Artistic.
What did the deaf, dumb, blind, paraplegic, autistic baby get for Christmas? AIDs.
I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.