Autistic jokes

How do you torture an autistic dude? Start a staring contest.

What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.

Why are drums and autistic people the same?

They both go "uh uh uh uh uh uh!"

What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?

A boomerang.

An Oxymoron: A “Normal Autistic”.

I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "Autistic Child Zone." Then I thought to myself, "Oh shit, that wasn't a dog!"

I'm autistic, and I find these so funny.

What do you call an autistic My Little Pony?

Twilight Special.

It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.

I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.

VOTING QUARTERFINAL 1: LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's sketchers light up.

DISLIKE: When the school shooter finds you and you think you're gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen. 🖌

Vote for the better joke!

What's an autistic kid's favorite transformer?

Autistemist Prime.

When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!

An autistic man walks into a bra.

VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month.

LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.

DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.

Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.

What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?

Guarded.

My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.

Why didn’t the autistic boy like Minecraft?

There was a new texture pack.

Why do ableist people hate autistics?

They're scared they'll never be special enough.

What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?

"I thought what we had was special!"

What do you call Autistic kids baking?

"Downies" with brownies.