Autistic Jokes

What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?

A boomerang.

I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "Autistic Child Zone." Then I thought to myself, "Oh shit, that wasn't a dog!"

What do you call an autistic My Little Pony?

Twilight Special.

I'm autistic, and I find these so funny.

It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.

I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.

Shhhhhh... he's having a happy autistic boy moment

A cartoon image of three Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. One turtle with a purple mask and shell is laughing while looking up with his arms raised. Another turtle with an orange mask has his hands clasped together with a big smile. A third turtle with a dark blue mask has his head down and is out of focus. The background is a basketball court.

VOTING QUARTERFINAL 1: LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's sketchers light up.

DISLIKE: When the school shooter finds you and you think you're gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen. 🖌

Vote for the better joke!

When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!

What's an autistic kid's favorite transformer?

Autistemist Prime.

An autistic man walks into a bra.

VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month.

LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.

DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.

Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.

What do you call Autistic kids baking?

"Downies" with brownies.

An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.

He called them: “ASPERGER’S”

What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?

"I thought what we had was special!"

What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?

Guarded.

My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.

The best part about having autism is being able to make jokes about genociding autistic people and no one can say a damn thing.

One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.

His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.

The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.

The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"