Attempt jokes
Kid: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: Sure.
Kid: Why diddncjcjcbfjcbcjdbbskzmzj b b j no?
Me:?
Am I the only one here that actually tried to kill myself 15 times and failed every time and landed up in the hospital every time?
Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.
What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?
The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.
I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.
It didn't work.
The guard caught one of the fugitives as he tried to escape. All he said was...
"Don't let your guard down."
It's all fun and games until someone fails at becoming Superman.
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
Things I would have missed if my attempt in 2018 worked...
My attempts in 2019, 2020, and 2021!
Shit, I’m never gonna try to commit suicide again. I almost died!
It must not be a good suicide story if you can tell it.
Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."
There is one rapist among us.
If you try to fail and you succeed, which one did you do?
You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."
Hey Abygail ;) can we talk? I just wanna say that you prob are sexy :)
Hey Gwen, how are you? I'm a girl, btw...;)
If at first it doesn't succeed, try, try again.
Kyler, go on this one.
So, I’m not sure if it’s a joke, but I thought it was funny. So imagine you try to die by shooting yourself, but you sneeze and pull the trigger... I don't know about you, but I would’ve been mad. Because wtf, I wasn’t readyyyy!