Ate

Ate jokes

Banana

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.

I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Pen

My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.

We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!

Abortion

I'm actually against abortion.

Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!

Banana

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Santa

I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤

Michael Jackson

Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.

Orphan

Why are orphans so skinny?

They never eat anything that is family size.

Michael Jackson

You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning?

It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.

Cannibal

A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.

Sentence

You couldn't spit out a good sentence, even if you ate a bowl of alphabet soup.

Hooker

The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.

Daycare

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.

Pee

Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?

Sure, man. I. H. O. P.

Wait, you ate my pee!!!

Copy

Gf: Hi.

Bf: Hi.

Gf: Did you eat yet?

Bf: Did you eat yet?

Gf: Are you copying me?

Bf: Are you coping me??

Gf: I love you.

Bf: Yeah, I ate already.