Ate jokes
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.
We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
I'm actually against abortion.
Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!
Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.
Memes
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning?
It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.
A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.
You couldn't spit out a good sentence, even if you ate a bowl of alphabet soup.
The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
Why are Asians so bad at baseball? ... Because they ate the bat!
Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?
Sure, man. I. H. O. P.
Wait, you ate my pee!!!
Crack me, break me, love me, and you ate me--egg.
Why did two fours skip lunch? They already ate.
Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!
Gf: Hi.
Bf: Hi.
Gf: Did you eat yet?
Bf: Did you eat yet?
Gf: Are you copying me?
Bf: Are you coping me??
Gf: I love you.
Bf: Yeah, I ate already.