Ate jokes

One day a cow ate a fish.

What came out the other side?

A dead fish.

Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"

The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"

Johnny replies: "Sure."

After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.

Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"

The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."

After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.

Yo momma decided to go to KFC until she realized she had to share with her family, so she bought ten buckets and the cashier said, "Here is the receipt." Now yo momma got afraid of how much money she had to spend, despiting on how she spent more than Drake's net worth that he can even lend. She went back home seeing her family looking at her and the KFC, thinking that could be her rent, but the whole family dug into the food. By the second they see the plates empty and seeing the lazy mom steady, she ate so much she wasn't ready until she fell, which caused an earthquake, which made her go to jail, which caused her to be scary.

Q: Why is China so bad at baseball?

A: They already ate the bat.

So we all know why 6 was afraid of 7, because 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? It was in between 9/11.

One time I ate a chair.

In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.

One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”

Who was the knight on the Round Table that only ate meat?

Sir Loin.

The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.

For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"

I mean I'd tell you a joke about the pizza I ate, but it's just too cheesy.

If a lion ate a child, is the lion a child predator?

A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!

People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.

He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.

"Knock knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Baby!"

"Baby who?"

"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"

"No thanks, I already ate."

Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?

No, why?

Boy are deez nuts so big.

Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.

If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).

People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.

Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!

What was King Tut's favorite coffee?

De-coffin-ated.

Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.