Ass jokes
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
What's the difference between a cop and bacon?
Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good. A cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top.
Y'all ass fr fr.
How do asses communicate?
Through booty calls!
Why do asses make the best detectives?
They always crack the case!
What do asses and secrets have in common?
Both are better when not leaked!
How do you make an ass laugh?
Crack a CHEEKY JOKE.
Why did the ass go to therapy?
It couldn't deal with all the crap.
What do you call an ass on a beach?
Sandy cheeks!
What did the ass say to the joke?
"You crack me up!"
Why did the ass start a gardening service?
It was great at dropping SEEDS.
What do you call an ass that’s a DETECTIVE?
An undercover pooper.
Why do asses make terrible spies?
Because they always CRACK under pressure.
Bruh, who likes Dhar Mann nowadays? That shit is ass AF. And it's just legit shit like only nerds that are fatherless would watch that shit.
Trump is ass.
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.