Asked jokes

I got my job at a bank and lost the job the day I got it. A lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her!

What do Germans do to ask a question? They salute.

Once, asked if I played Scrabble, being dyslexic, I asked if it was the standard version or the deluxe dyslexic version.

I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”

When you got on an airplane, the flight attendant asked which hairline you were flying with.

Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.

I asked Daveon if he ever considered trying something new, and he replied "why fix what ain't broke?"

Yo mama is so stupid that she asked how much is a free sample.

Gay people when the GPS asks them to go straight.

Yo mama so Karen that when she went to hell, she asked Satan for the manager.

Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.

Hitler says, “Yes.”

Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”

Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”

I'm dyslexic. My sister was reading, "What's the book?" I asked. She showed me the cover. "You reading 'The Scared Bull'?" I asked. She started laughing. "No, 'The Sacred Bull'!"

My girlfriend asked me to hand her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?

"Nunya business!"

Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?

What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.

P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.

My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.

Yo mama so dumb, when her computer was asking for cookies, she grabbed a cookie, smashed it onto the screen, and broke the computer.

My science teacher was talking about natural selection.

At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.

If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."

My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?

Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?

Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!