Asked jokes
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."
My girlfriend asked me to hand her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?
"Nunya business!"
Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?
What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.
P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.
My enemy likes to act like he’s stupid sometimes, and so once he asked me what a sin was, and I responded with, “you.”
Memes
Sus???
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
I lost my job at the bank. Some lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her.
"Hey, what does IDK mean?"
"I don't know."
"Okay, then I am going to ask someone else."
I got my job at a bank and lost the job the day I got it. A lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her!
I see 2 fighting with 3. "What's going on?" I ask. 5 responds: "The numbers are moving on up."
I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"
I saw a little kid cry. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez, I love working at the orphanage!
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.
"I want to know who this fake me is! I haven't even posted or commented on anything bad or said a curse. I am very kindly asking you to stop."
I feel weird to ask this, but can anyone guess my real name?
#Imbored
Everyone makes mistakes. Just ask your parents.
A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"
Dad said, "It is, Son."
Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"
I burnt down a whole forest and asked myself, "Is this hell?"
Jonny went to Disney and they had sour balls. He asked the cashier for some and he pulled down his pants.
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.