Asked jokes
You are so poor, when I pass you, you ask for spare change, and I was poor, too.
The guy called up to the orphanage, then he asked, "Where are the kids' faces?"
Then another guy said, "Sorry, there's no homepage."
This is not a joke, Tom. I'm asking you to leave me alone, stop being sexual, I don't like you.
I was at the orphan place, and I saw a kid crying. And I asked him where his parents are, and he fainted.
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
Two nuns in a bathtub.
One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"
The other nun says, "It sure does."
A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"
The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
The man said, "Your parents."
Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?
Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.
Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.
Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."
Kid on Xbox: I'm not a virgin. Ask your sister.
Bully on Xbox: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Kid on Xbox: You will in 9 months.
I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.
I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.
Why did the Twin Towers report to the pizza restaurant?
Because they asked for pepperoni, but they got plain.
My job is so amazing.
Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The KGB.
The KGB wh-?
*slaps* I will ask the questions here.
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
I have 25 friends from the alphabet, but don't ask me why.
Roses are red, so is my gun. Why do you ask? Because it's full of blood.
The kid was a bit sad, so he was blue.
Teacher asked him, "Why are you so blue?"
The kid replied, "I'm not sad."
Teacher said, "No, your face actually blue."
I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!