Asked jokes

My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"

When someone asks you why you went bald, say it wasn't a choice. It just happened.

I was asked to give a bicycle joke, but I couldn't...

I was two tired.

I saw a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at the orphanage!

Gay people when the GPS asks them to go straight.

Lesbians when the GPS asks them to go straight.

My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.

Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.

Get the whip, you're out!

My science teacher was talking about natural selection.

At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.

If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."

Yo mama so Karen that when she went to hell, she asked Satan for the manager.

Yo mama is so stupid that she asked how much is a free sample.

What do Germans do to ask a question? They salute.

Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.

Hitler says, “Yes.”

Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”

Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”

I'm dyslexic. My sister was reading, "What's the book?" I asked. She showed me the cover. "You reading 'The Scared Bull'?" I asked. She started laughing. "No, 'The Sacred Bull'!"

Once, asked if I played Scrabble, being dyslexic, I asked if it was the standard version or the deluxe dyslexic version.

Yo mama so dumb, when her computer was asking for cookies, she grabbed a cookie, smashed it onto the screen, and broke the computer.

When you got on an airplane, the flight attendant asked which hairline you were flying with.

My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?

I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.

A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.

I asked Daveon if he ever considered trying something new, and he replied "why fix what ain't broke?"