Asked jokes
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.
Why did the Twin Towers report to the pizza restaurant?
Because they asked for pepperoni, but they got plain.
I arrived at basketball and I asked little Jimmy if he brought the basketballs, and he said, "Nope, but I got two right here!"
A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"
The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
The man said, "Your parents."
Two nuns in a bathtub.
One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"
The other nun says, "It sure does."
I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."
How to Make an Orphan cry
Step 1: Talk about Home.
Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.
Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!
I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!
I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.
I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!
Kid on Xbox: I'm not a virgin. Ask your sister.
Bully on Xbox: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Kid on Xbox: You will in 9 months.
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?
Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.
Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.
Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."
My job is so amazing.
Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The KGB.
The KGB wh-?
*slaps* I will ask the questions here.
The kid was a bit sad, so he was blue.
Teacher asked him, "Why are you so blue?"
The kid replied, "I'm not sad."
Teacher said, "No, your face actually blue."
Roses are red, so is my gun. Why do you ask? Because it's full of blood.
So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.
The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"
The time I saw you and you asked me to be your friend.
Me: "Yeah... no. You're too ugly. Even your parents never loved you."
Kid: 😭
I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. 🙂🙂