Arrogance jokes

How many Bay Street bankers does it take to change a light bulb?

In Toronto? One to hold it up and expect the entire country to revolve around them.

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?

God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.

An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.

The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"

The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."

If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to your ego, and then jump down to your IQ.

I am awesome, look at me!

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.

No one is smart. I am smart.

A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."

People in 1912: "Titanic is unstoppable, even God couldn't sink this ship."

God: "Bet, where are my icebergs?"

If I wanted to kill myself, I would just climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ.

Why does the sky think it's so powerful?

Because it's always looking down on us.