Ares jokes

A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."

What's similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the fetus inside of her? They are both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's gonna kill me."

Can all the hot, depressed, suicidal guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we are. For real.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Fortnite is dead and so are you.

Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.

Why are cows such great dancers?

They have all the best moooves!

What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?

A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.

"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.

"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."

The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"

She said, "Not everybody paid."

I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.

Violets are blue, roses are red.

Last night your mom was giving me head.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.

What’s the best part about fucking suicide girls?

The pussies are limited edition.

Genders are like the Twin Towers.

There used to be 2 of them, but now it’s a sensitive subject.

Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"

Hey, are you a terrorist? 'Cause I rate you 9/11.

Sonic says: "If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"

The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"

The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"

The school shooter: "I don't know."

The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."

Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.

Orphans are funny cuz all they do is sing "We Are Family."

Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.

When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"

I said, "I shit you not."