Ares jokes

Relationships are like fat people.

Most of them don’t work out.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.

What’s the best part about fucking suicide girls?

The pussies are limited edition.

The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"

The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"

The school shooter: "I don't know."

The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."

Orphans are funny cuz all they do is sing "We Are Family."

Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.

Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.

When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"

I said, "I shit you not."

Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"

Hey, are you a terrorist? 'Cause I rate you 9/11.

Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.

There are plenty more fish in the sea is the last thing you should say to a necrophiliac.

Sonic says: "If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

They don't know where home is.

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

(People will then say "r")

Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.

What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear sir,

You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.

Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Fortnite is dead and so are you.

Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.

The people in Florida yelling "White Power!" is amusing, because when they get permanent sunburn from the Florida sun, they are not white anymore.

Why does China have the biggest eyewear?

Because all their eyes are too small.

Why can't an orphan be a YouTuber? Because most of the videos are family-friendly.