Ares jokes
What are three things you can't give a black guy?
A fat lip, a black eye, and a job.
Feminists are a joke.
My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
The Twin Towers are like Angry Birds in real life.
No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?
Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.
Bad jokes are like the planes in 9/11, they don't land.
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.
Your teeth are so spread out my mom can drive her car through the gap in your teeth.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
Are you my depression, because I’m falling for you?
You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.
What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
Do you know why most men are impressive cooks?
Because with two eggs and a sausage, they can keep women full for 9 months.
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."
There are only 2 things I hate in this world:
1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.