Ares jokes
If dust mites are found in dust, bedbugs are found in beds, where are cockroaches found in?
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are actually picked.
What's so special about bullets?
They do work after they are fired.
Relationships are like fat people.
Most of them don’t work out.
How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?
Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say, "I'm a real boy."
Two men are walking down the street and see a dog licking its balls. One man says, "I wish I could do that." The other one says, "You can probably just pet him."
Do you know why most men are impressive cooks?
Because with two eggs and a sausage, they can keep women full for 9 months.
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."
There are only 2 things I hate in this world:
1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.
All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.
What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?
They both thank you for your financial support.
I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents at first."
Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of seamen waiting for you 😉
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
Your teeth are so spread out my mom can drive her car through the gap in your teeth.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.