Ares jokes

Wow, these cow jokes are moo-amazing!

I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.

Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.

Where are virgins usually born?

Virginia.

Are you a toaster, because I want to have a bath with you.

We are coming out with a Whopper that is similar to a priest because it also has its meat between 5-year-old buns.

Bob, why are you kicking the kids?

What, it's not like they have a home to go to.

Hippity hoppity, women are property.

Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”

Soldier says, “Mhm.”

Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”

Soldier says, “Really?”

The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"

Are you the Twin Towers? Because you made my heart explode.

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

'Cause they can’t get home.

You don't have to worry about running while boys are around. Even I can't see anything there.

I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

Your hairline and your eyebrows are social distancing.

Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?

Stop imagining!

Jokes are like your grandparents, old and dead.

Are you gay? Yeah, because I loved you.

Are you Pikachu? Cause I want to take a "pik" at you.

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"

A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.

Bored? Punch an orphan! Who are they gonna tell, their parents?