Ares jokes
Mom, I’m pregnant.
Are you drunk? Why? Because you’re boy.
Where are fart bombs made?
Old people's arses!
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.
What do you get when skeletons are dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
You're a bish, and you are too!
A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"
The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"
What are you on? YouTube.
What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There are twenty of them.
Are you a Chipotle bowl? Because I wanna eat you out.
Where are you right now?
Looking at a fake joke? You are a waste of time and space.
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?
You can't get either one at home.
Son: "Mom, am I adopted?"
Mom: "Yes."
Son: "Where are my real parents?"
Dad: "We are your real parents, so... GET OUT!"
Why are Spider-Man and an orphan so similar?
They both have "No Way Home."
Are you a bull, because I wanna ride you like a rodeo.
You are so fat and ugly, Chucky didn't even want to play with you.
Hippity hoppity, women are property.
You used to call me on your cellphone when you need my love.
Mad girl: SHUT UP! YOU ARE SO ANNOYING! I DON'T WANT TO CALL YOU ON MY CELL PHONE!
A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?"
"Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist, so I mounted up and screwed her senseless."
"Oh, so you're here to get neutered?"
"Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."
Symptoms of Schizophrenia
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations