Ares jokes
Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!
Me: Nothing, why?
Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.
Me that/every night: *sob*
Friends: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, fine.
Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...
Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?
Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.
Farmer's Wife: Why?
Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.
Why are orphans different from apples?
Apples get picked.
"Prince, where are you?"
Hello, I am typing with the microphone, euros, hello bro and 0LXDXD bra, that’s funny, and also you are gay. Ha ha ha ha ha, get it done by eight.
It's hard to tell if people are interested in joining my Sarcastic Club or not.
Mom said drugs are my enemies. God said love your enemies. What do I tell her?
Prince, are you really gay, because I love you with all my heart and pray for you all the time!
PLEASE CHOOSE ME INSTEAD! :(
Gwen, are you mad at me? Cause that was a faker.
Like the faker Gwen?
Roses are red, violets are blue, I tell you, you look pretty, but all you do is look like a poo.
My sister's friends are hilarious, like seriously, haha.
All then are bad.
Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”
Soldier says, “Mhm.”
Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”
Soldier says, “Really?”
The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"
Who are the fastest readers of mankind?
The victims of 9/11, they went through dozens of stories in a couple of seconds.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted me and my dad and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home.
Hi, how are you? I was busy doing something right. I just texted because me and my dad were going to.
8 bit: Are you ok?
7 bit: Yes, I’m just a bit off...
Get it? 8 bits = a byte :)
How are the faster readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they read 80 stories in 10 seconds.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, 110 stories in 10 seconds.