Ares jokes

I say these jokes are life saving material. Who's with me?

I have a new joke.

My life. Wait... jokes are supposed to have meaning.

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

Because they have no home to run to.

Why are bees' hair sticky?

Because they use honeycombs!

I always wonder what girls are thinking about. Maybe balls.

You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?

What did Al-Shehhi say to Mohamed Atta?

"We are on time!"

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

You're just big and good.

Two lepers meet on the street.

First says "How are you doing?"

Second says "Mustn't crumble!"

Okay, okay, why [are] people askin[g] where I went[?] I[']m always on this website. Never think I[']m not.

Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.

Sorry man, but I got to say one thing. You know when a bully in a movie walks to you, then they walk up to you, and they smell you and say, "What are you doing?"

Okay, I'm on my last nerve when people say "Water Shark Guy" and other things THAT ARE NOT MY NAME.

This is my name: watersharky!

Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?

Both: FUCK YEAH!

Q: Why are orphans so scared to get married?

A: They don't know what it feels like to have a family.

What is an orphan's least favorite song? We Are Family.

Freshfry, are you there? I really want to talk to you!

Love, Gwen.