Ares jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.

Roses are red, violets are blue, you look like Honey Boo Boo!

RYAN MY BELOVED SON WHERE ARE YOU?

AR-15: Who are you?

Musket: I'm you, but from another timeline.

Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.

When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...

But they know you're blind.

You are like my girlfriend: imaginary and non-existent.

Me: Are you an alien?

Friend: No.

Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.

My boy is so distracted and the kids are doing great. I will be make $500000.

Are you peeling well?

I have a new joke.

My life. Wait... jokes are supposed to have meaning.

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

You're just big and good.

"Mayotte’s are sinking in the yogurt! (My Oat’s)" 🇾🇹🇾🇹🇾🇹🇾🇹🇾🇹🇾🇹

300? You are a 3.0.

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

Because they have no home to run to.

What did Al-Shehhi say to Mohamed Atta?

"We are on time!"

Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?

Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.

Punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Why are the English so bad at chess?

Because they lost their queen.