Ares jokes
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
What are 8 people hiding in a corner because they're scared?
An octopus.
I always wonder what girls are thinking about. Maybe balls.
You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
Waking up wit a tank top
You are like Papa.
Friends don't lie.
Are you the Twin Towers? Cause I'd love to take you out. 🤭
Two lepers meet on the street.
First says "How are you doing?"
Second says "Mustn't crumble!"
Why are bees' hair sticky?
Because they use honeycombs!
If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?
A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."
Why are you dumb? Because you can’t find LOLA.
Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!
Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.
Teacher: Why not?
Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.
"Parademics are so bad, yo mama can't stop!"
Why is it painful to have your attorney with you in the hospital?
The damages are severe.
Why are blinds called blinds?
Because when they aren’t closed, they are blinding!
What are the similarities of an orphan and a water fountain?
They both sprout water.
Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.
Are you a rope? Let's hang out by a tree and drink :)
You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.
Friend: I must order more nuts.