Ares jokes

Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.

Tell me orphan jokes are a really bad joke. People are really orphans, and there is a lot of 'em, and they are all depressed. Who would make fun of depressed people? Well, those dumbass evil people!!

Q: What did one snake say to the other?

A: Nothing because they are both dead.

Me: Hey, Mom? Why do we celebrate birthdays?

Mom: Because that's the day a new life was born, and people are born every day so every day is a special day.

My thoughts: And my friend wonders why I have depression...

What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?

Fresh roadkill.

Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?

Are you beef?

Because you're Carlos-Asada.

Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"

The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."

You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.

But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.

How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.

If you're ever bored, beat up an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Like if you are in high school and miss school!

Someone: Hey, are you a skeleton?

A skeleton: Of course, I have a SKELE-ton of fans!

What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?

They both choose who they want.

Girls are like a bus; you might miss the first bus and catch the second bus.

Getting a book on pasta?

Yes. Just imagine the pastabilities there are!

Roses are red, violets are violet.

Why are most West Virginians going to hell?

Their favorite pastimes (inbreeding and bestiality) are an abomination unto the Lord.

Why are the same Sally jokes told over and over again?

Because how can you tell jokes about someone who's dead?

Why are skinny people skinny?

Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.