Ares jokes

Bee

  • According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

    Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

    The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

    Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

    Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.

    - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin!

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  • Orphanage

  • All of you guys in this orphanage are ABCDEFGHIJK.

    What's that? said the orphans.

    Attractive, brilliant, cute, darling, elegant, funny, gorgeous, and hot.

    What's the IJK?

    I'm just kidding! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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  • Family Secret

  • Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."

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  • Pilot

  • You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.

    Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.

    You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"

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  • Rose

  • Roses are red, Violets are twisted, You bend over, You're about to get fisted.

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  • Emo

  • Why are emo jokes so infamous?

    They cut deep.

    Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?

    Turns out it was just a phase.

    How many emos like anagrams?

    Some.

    What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?

    Emold.

    What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?

    They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.

    What do you call flat-chested emo?

    A cutting board.

    How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Who cares, let them cry in the dark.

    Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?

    It was the Happy Meal.

    Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.

    “Emo cake?” says the baker. ”What exactly is it?”

    Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”

    How do you pull an emo from a tree?

    Cut the rope.

    What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?

    They’re both white and flavorless.

    What do emo birds call their mouths?

    Bleaks.

    What do you call an obese emo teen?

    An edgelord.

    Recommended: Fat Jokes

    What do you call a gang of emo kids?

    Suicide Squad.

    How are cats and emos different from one another?

    The cat still has 8 other lives.

    Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?

    They are playing Fruit Ninja.

    What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?

    Sonic the Edgy hog.

    Why would the emo swallow a clock?

    So he could wake up inside.

    Why are Emos still around?

    Because the suffering never ends.

    What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?

    You encourage them.

    What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?

    A toaster.

    What is the favorite game of an emo?

    Hangman.

    Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?

    So it could cut itself.

    A group of friends started an emo salsa band.

    They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.

    What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?

    Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.

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  • Prank

  • Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.)

    I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can't be trusted).

    I gathered some "slapies."

    The things I gathered were tomatoes, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried-out green beans! All that stuff!

    I need the tomatoes to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish...WRONG!!!! I am going to make it into a little snack...anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eyes cry and burn but I will give them a towel after that. The dried-out green beans are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that, we make it like it's not so icky!

    I feed it to them!

    They overreacted!

    Please leave a comment.

    Bye!

    Classroom

  • There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.

    The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

    The teacher says, "That's right."

    The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

    "That's right," the teacher says.

    The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.

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  • Friend

  • Friend: Hey, let me give you a little riddle. There's a table [for] four people who are supposed to sit [at]. There is you, me, Will, Mary. In which order will they sit?

    Other friend: Uhm, you, me, Mary, and Will?

    Friend 1: Nope, guess again!

    Other friend: Okay, what about "Will you marry me?" Oh, wait...

    Friend 1: Of course!!!! :D

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