Ares jokes
Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.
Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"
3.14% of sailors are pirates.
A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,
Librarian: What are you looking for?
Man: I am looking for a book!
Librarian: Which book?
Man: Facebook.
Why can’t orphans eat a big bag of chips?
They are family sized.
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
When are you from Iowa? You know!!! 🚗
When are you from Kansas? You know!!! 🐌
When are you from Alabama? You know!!! 🐩
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
Roses are red, I like weed,
If you say yes then I'll do a "good deed."
I don’t like stairs. They are always up to something.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
Idiot 1: Why are cows good in math?
Idiot 2: I don't know why.
Idiot 1: Because they have built-in cowculators!
You are a joke.
Who are voting for this election? I'm voting for Tricity, so vote for Tricity. Electricity!
Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers. The more there are, the less there are.
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"
"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."
Who are you to believe if you don't believe in unicorns?
Roses are red, Velvet is blue, So are violets.