Ares jokes
I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.
It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️
What is the Twilight series about?
A girl's choice between necrophilia and bestiality.
Why are priests so bad at racing? They are always in the 'little behind'.
If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!
Most of these jokes are plane, but they still hit.
Why don't orphans like getting lost?
Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"
How are my sister‘s legs and peanut butter alike?\n\nThey’re both smooth and easy to spread.
Bro, why are you making an avalanche by that big forehead? No wonder why snow was found on Mars.
You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"
Then I start to think I was the problem :(
Just kidding, fuck that asshole!
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
How to cure boredom:
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Tyler is ugly.
If you are called Tyler, change your name.
Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?
Me: Word.
So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born pretty, what happened to you?
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
Yo mama is so lazy that the only letters she knows are "NO".
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.