Ares jokes
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I was born pretty, what happened to you?
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.
Your eyebrows are far from home just like your dad.
Are you a builder, because you give me an erection.
Are you going to jump? Can I jump with you?
Did you know emos are the highest jumpers? Some of them are still in the air.
What is a girl's favorite song when they are on their period?
"Period, oh period, oww!"
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.
Why are 10-pin bowlers always in pain?
Because their balls have holes in them.
Friend: Hi!
Me: Who are you?
Friend: ...your friend?
Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.
If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.
Q: What are cheetahs?
A: The worst card players!
Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?
The black one... he's 13!
Why are life and a penis alike?
Women make both of them hard.
My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.
My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.
Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.