Ares jokes
If there was a quiz on midgets, here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it:
1. When midgets get high on any drug, do they get high or medium?
2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet?
3. Are Midgets related to Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs?
4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario?
5. Was this funny?
Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?
Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.
Guy 1: Don't you?
Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.
Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#
**Meow...**
Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3
"Hippoty hoppity, women are property."
Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.
Blessed Brian, your secrets are safe with me... because I wasn’t listening when you told them.
Memes
Yo, Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY!
Roses are red, violets are blue; blood's thicker than water, so yeah, I got you.
What does a priest and Christmas tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration.
A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?
The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.
The gay couple was still packing their shit.
How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
Either way, they’ll kill your dog.
The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.
How are Black people like communism?
Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.
How does the cop respond to being called racist?
He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."
I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"
Why are clips 30 rounds? Because that's the average class size.
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 when I'm at a nursery.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly?
Because whenever they hit the corner, they build a shop.