Ares jokes
Roses are red, I have no money, I want to be dominated by a goth mommy.
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
The greatest doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,
"People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grabs one and shouts,
"People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,
"You are too young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,
"No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."
Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:
The guy says, "I'm a fireman."
The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"
The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."
The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"
The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."
You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded. What is the first thing you do?
Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.
When you're sad, hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
When we take a family photo, you are the background.
What did the first rape victim say to the second rape victim?
"You are a consequence of rape!"
Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
Roses are red, violets are blue, there are kids in my basement, you'll be there soon.
Two wind turbines are standing in a field.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "Well... I'm a huge metal fan..."
Are you the Twin Towers? Cause I'd love to take you out. 🤭
Why should you fear white people in prison instead of the blacks?
Because you know that whites are in for actually committing something.
NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".
SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.
WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.