Ares jokes
What is a cannibal's favorite place to go? An orphanage. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"
Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"
"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"
"Ok!"
"Are you ok, man?"
"Yeah, I’m fine."
"Dude, pull your pants back up!"
Rangers are a joke.
Me: "Hey, are your parents home?"
Orphan: "Stop calling here!"
Me in the corner.
Why?
Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.
Jokes about menstruation are never funny, period!
(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?
Kid: Hi.
Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?
Kid: Why are you rude?
Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.
Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You are so ugly, Do not tell me that is really you.
What's a plus side to being an orphan?
Every bag of chips is family size. T - T
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"The FBI."
"The FBI who?"
"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"
When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
One time a man climbed a mountain and saw a guy.
"Who are you?"
"I am mountain man!"
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:
P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.
Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.
“They are all very tearable,” he replied.
Well, there is one person who gets it!