Ares jokes
I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.
They said: "Because I lost my parents."
I said: "Let's find them."
They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.
Good afternoon. My name is Russell, and I am a wilderness explorer of Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?
Why are eggs bad at puns?
They always mix up their yolks!
I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
Memes
Q: How do you know there’s a party at Neverland Ranch? A: All the Big Wheels are parked out front.
Q: When do you know it’s over? A: Only one is left.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope...
"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."
Don’t stop orphan jokes. They’re funny, and people are just mad that they don’t understand the jokes because they're too STUUUPID.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Where are virgins usually born?
Virginia.
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"
The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."
Mississippi girls are missing a "pp."
Roses are red, my blood is too, And I've been seeing it a lot more, since I've lost you.
Q: Why do I like bone jokes so much?
A: Because they are humerus.
Roses are red, give me some limes, boy dies after masturbating 42 times.
If my boobies are fish, then am I salmon boobies? Please give generously.
Why are gay men so rude? Because they're fucking assholes.
Okay, so turns out the toasters are not waterproof...
There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."